Be Fair Not Nice When Leading Teams + 10 Team Performance Strategies
Be fair not nice when leading teams and you will effortlessly be a lot more popular and a lot more effective in your job. A manager’s job is to improve team performance and develop as much of the potential of the team as they can. Trying to be popular or getting team members to like you is a great way to shoot yourself in both feet. Being nice is not the answer.
I am not suggesting that you don’t be friendly, that you don’t help or that you don’t make yourself approachable. Being a leader or manager of a team is a tough balancing act. Great managers maintain the delicate balance between the many conflicting human and business demands.
Be Fair Not Nice When Leading Teams + 10 Team Performance Strategies
- 10 Example Behaviours of Leaders & Managers Being Too Nice & Causing Themselves Significant Problems
- 6 Actions to Build Trusting Relationships Between Manager and Employee
- 10 Very Effective Behaviours To Be Fair, Not Nice When Leading Teams
We have all seen the too nice manager whose team runs amok and does want they want. Just as bad is the manager who rules through fear and creates a group of unmotivated robots. Neither of these teams will perform well, nor will the manager’s career go far or anywhere fast.
The principles I am sharing today will help you achieve a better balance between the human and business demands of being a leader.
Be fair not nice when managing teams effectively.
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10 examples of the behaviours of leaders and managers being too nice
Each of these behaviours causes managers a lot of problems
- Allowing team members to do want they want, set their own direction etc
- Letting team members turn up late to work, late to meetings or miss deadlines
- Taking actions to increase their popularity rather that do what is best for team results
- Not holding team members to account, nor holding them responsible for their results, decisions, actions and behaviours
- Being fearful of providing corrective feedback, or only providing bland safe feedback
- Sugar coating their messages – for example – being overly positive while ignoring the challenges, or avoiding talking about what is not working
- Looking the other way rather than tackling mistakes, issues or reinforcing standards
- Not setting clear expectations to avoid upsetting or disappointing
- Bending over backwards to help popular team members
- Doing whatever their boss asks, without questioning, without challenging, without considering the impact on the team, even when it is going to be detrimental to the team or achieving team targets.
You will have seen plenty of similar examples. In my experience, the more a manager tries to please team members, who puts likability ahead of doing their best for the team, the more the manager loses the respect of the team, loses their credibility and ultimately is not liked.
I personally have been here. A long time ago before I got my first proper job at EY, I tried the too nice approach at it failed me and the team miserably.
To have group of individuals that works as a team, that is motivated and uses their talents, experience and skills to do what is best for team results, the leader or manager can’t be a tyrant, be difficult, dictate or rule through fear. I have also tried the “I am the boss, you must listen to me” approach, on my brothers and sister when my parents broke up. I was ten and still remember my efforts to this day. This approached also failed miserably.
To be successful, a leader needs to find a sensible balance, a middle ground and this balance can be different with different teams and different situations.
Six actions that build trusting manager-employee relationships in any team
The six actions are:
- Demonstrate your competence and how you are visibly contributing to team success
- Consistently solve problems to make everyone’s work lives better
- Work hard to develop capability in your team
- Protect your team
- Be consistent and predictable to create psychological safety
- Be authentic and show your vulnerabilities, admit the mistakes you make, share your opinion … in short create opportunities to be relatable for your team
Don’t only do one or two of these actions. Do them all and work hard at getting good at each of them.
1 – Be Good At Your Job
Touching on practical actions to help you get better at each of these actions. Firstly, work hard at being good at your job, which in this case is being a better manager and leader. Read books, watch videos, take courses, find a mentor or coach, observe the best managers around you. There is a ton you can proactively do.
2 – Consistently Solve Problems
Consistently solve problems that make the team overall a better place to work and makes it more capable of delivering great work and hitting goals. This includes making the tough decisions and the unpopular decisions when you know it will help the team overall. Keep looking for problems the team is struggling with and work hard to reduce or remove them. Don’t forget to update the team on what you are doing.
3 – Develop Team Capability
Work hard to develop the capability of the team. The first step is getting to know your team members, their strengths, their skills, their interests etc. Then objectively assess the gap between where each individual is and where you need them to be so the team will reach targets and goals. Then work hard in helping each individual bridge that gap.
4 – Protect Your Team
Protecting your team is insulating them from low value requests, fighting for resources, unhelpful changes in direction, undermining, bullying or anything else that damages your team’s ability or their motivation to perform.
5 – Be Consistent
Being consistent and predictable helps create psychological safety in the team. Being predictable reinforces expectations and standards. For example, if any person does great work, your shout their praises from the rooftops. If a person is late into work, you will have a conversation to find out why.
6 – Be Authentic
Be authentic by being true to who you are. Know what you value and what you believe and demonstrate these to team members. Share some of your doubts, some of your mistakes and some of your fears. Show you are human just like them. Show them who you are and how much you care while still remaining professional and results focused.
Do all of these actions well and you will be liked without really trying. You will also be trusted and respected because you are working hard for the good of the overall team, not yourself or for those you like best.
Each of these actions will help you be fair not nice when leading teams!
10 very effective behaviours to be fair, not nice when leading teams
Each of these are also great team performance improvement tactics in pretty much any team when used in the right way:
- Set clear expectations, frameworks and rules for everyone including you and keep working each day and week to reinforce these expectations.
- Be consistent in your decision making, actions and behaviours so the team knows which direction you will take in a given situation
- Avoid actions, decisions and behaviours that create fear or uncertainty. Don’t shout, put people down, dictate, fire without warning, embarrass, bully or any other actions or behaviours that cause fear and doubts within the team
- Share relevant information openly and honestly with everyone so they are empowered and understand the context and environment in which they need to work
- Don’t play or appear to play favourites – treat the people you don’t like the same as those you get on well with. Look for the positives and find something you like in all your team members.
- Be inclusive – listen and use good ideas and solutions from any source. Work on listening to your team and you will have an endless stream of good ideas and solutions coming your way.
- Celebrate the differences within the team – when harnessed well, the differences are what makes great teams. Understand each person’s strengths and make the best use of them you can.
- Foster an attitude of service – put your team before yourself and work hard to help the team do the best they can. Your performance is your team’s performance.
- Have the courage to say no to your boss – diplomatically, carefully, and for the good of the team
- Praise team members for great actions, decisions and behaviours. Celebrate success publicly and openly practice meritocracy.
Work on being fair, not nice when leading teams. You will be a lot more respected and liked as a result plus you will have much better team performance too.
In summary
Be fair not nice when leading teams and you will gain a lot more respect, more appreciation and much better performance from your team. Managing and leading others is a tough balance act between many conflicting human and business needs. Work at finding the balance that works best for your team and situation.
To be fair not nice when leading teams do:
- Avoid making the 10 mistakes of being too nice or any similar actions
- Work on building trusting manager-employee relationships and I have shared 6 actions every manager should work at
- We have been through 10 actions you can take to be fair, not nice when leading teams.
Do put all these actions into practice and enjoy a much happier team, great popularity and a higher performing team as a result.
If you have any questions on “Be Fair Not Nice When Leading Teams – 10 Team Performance Tactics, please email me at support@enhance.training and I will get back to you.
[Click for further reading – article in CEO Magazine]
Managers are told to build good relationships with team members and work on building a good team culture. Being “too nice” is not a winning approach. Managing others is a careful balancing act – balancing many and often conflicting demands.
Being too nice with your team damages your credibility and your ability to deliver great results through your team. Don’t be nice enough and your team won’t want to work with you and productivity and performance drops.
Be fair, not nice when leading teams.
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